Day 18

Hello everyone, I'm sorry that I've been so far behind but I've had a lot going on and then I couldn't find my Bible. But in that time when I was so worried about finding it and doing these blogs in a hurry, I feel that God told me it's ok and He would rather me do them late than not at all or in a rush where I may miss the entire message that He wants to bring across to you all. I still apologize for the delay but hopefully I'll be able to get back on track.

The verses for January 18th are: Genesis 32:1-33:20; Psalm 10:13-18; Proverbs 3:1-2; Matthew 12:9-37

In the Genesis verses discusses Jacob wrestling with a man all night. I had always heard the story of him wrestling with an angel but this bible says a man. Anyway I never understood the significance of this story until now. Can you imagine wrestling with someone until all night until the sun comes up? I would imagine that you would be very tired and probably extremely sore. Plus Jacob was all alone with no one to help him either but he continued to wrestle with him. Now the most significant part of this story comes in Genesis 32: 27 when the man asks Jacob what his name is and he tells them. Now for me I thought nothing of this because considering they were wrestling all night asking their name seems like nothing out of the ordinary, but it is.

You know how throughout the bible people's names are changed (i.e.-Abram to Abraham) and there is usually some significant meaning behind the name change. When stating your name in biblical times (and even now) it has a significant meaning to it and imagine that your name was less that wonderful and you had to reveal that to a complete stranger....how would that make you feel?

When I read this I felt that at times we 'wrestle' with God, fighting Him with all our might in hopes that He will see us the way we feel we ought to be perceived when it should be the other way around. We should be trying to see what God wants us to be instead. Remember how tiring I said wrestling could be, it's just like when we try to get God to see things our way and then get frustrated or upset when it doesn't work out the way we want it too. Or maybe your way of 'wrestling' is that you go through life striving for a perfection that you'll never reach, pretending to be someone you're not in order to live up to this specific ideal that you were never meant for.

All of this can become very exhausting both mentally and physically but my real question is why do we feel we have to 'wrestle' with God? One regardless of how we think our lives should go His will is going to be done anyway and two, He knows exactly who we are so what's the point in pretending? He knows we'll never be perfect and He doesn't expect us to be so why do we try to hide our flaws from Him? He made us and He knows us inside and out and top to bottom. So just tell him your name.

And I mean really telling Him, for example my name would most likely be "impatience." As much as I try to pretend that waiting for certain things don't bother me, they do to no end! I am one of those "instant satisfaction" people as someone very close to me always says. I don't want to wait for it I want it right then and there. I've even questioned God as to why I have to wait when it seems like no one else has to. Can you just imagine that, me demanding anything from the Lord and two being all up in someone else's blessing that God has for them when it has nothing to do with me...yes I'm ashamed but like I said no need to hide it when God knows exactly who I am...we have some real talks :)

But do you understand? When Jacob told the man his name, he was in a vulnerable position after wrestling him, which could potentially seem like less than flattering behavior. But then the man gave Jacob an even better name (Genesis 32:28). This made me think of no matter how bad we may feel or how much we have tried to make God see things our way, or even when we flat out mess up to the point where we feel we can't get over it, He will still mold us and change us into the best that we can be. We just have to be willing to reveal our true selves to God and be honest and understand that we cannot do anything without Him.

Prayer

God, help me to tell You my name-my real name. Help me dodge no longer, the game is up. Take out of me the spirit of demandingness. Change my name and my character. Save me from myself. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Further Study

1 John 1:1-9; Ezra 10:11; 2 Samuel 12:13

What are we to do with our sin?

How did Nathan respond to David?

Thank you all so much for sticking with me during this journey, it is definitely an interesting one, but again I want to thank each and everyone of you and I pray that you all stay blessed :)