My 2011 Prayer

OK since 2011 is quickly approaching I've been thinking about how I felt throughout 2010. I'm not sure how it looked to the outside world but I was a mess on the inside. I was worried about graduation, dealing with a break, family issues....I was a walking talking disaster. Everything was changing so fast and anyone who knows me knows that I don't do too well with change. Not that I'm opposed to it, I'm just weary toward the unfamiliar. Anyway, being the total train wreck that I was I really could have used this song because I felt so lost and alone it wasn't even funny. The first verse alone was exactly how I was feeling but just couldn't summon the courage to truly ask God to help me. I mean I prayed and all but because of my past mistakes I felt so unworthy and never truly believe that I deserved anything good God could give me. However, now that I have discovered this song this will be my prayer for 2011 when things are bad, good and everything in between. Enjoy and be blessed everyone :)

Lyrics:

Verse 1: Heavenly Father, I stand before you with a broken spirit on bended knees and Lord I'm tired of doing things my way and I surrender my all to thee.

Chorus : Heavenly Father this is my prayer, draw me nearer, I feel your spirit, I know you are there, draw me nearer.

Verse 2: Heavenly Father, guide me on this road of life with your sweet grace. Light my pathway every single day as I try to seek your face.

Chorus

Bridge: I now realize I need you in my life, I'm desperately in need your name is energy

Tis' the Season...but then what?

Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone! I'm enjoying this snowy Christmas afternoon with my family. We had a nice little devotional this morning in our living room and we all went around and gave our reflections on what Christmas means to us. One thing we all seemed to say was that people had forgotten the true meaning of Christmas and that was that Christ is a huge part of the word and without Him there would be no Christmas.

Even though some forget that Christ is a part of Christmas it isn't uncommon to see people saying that Jesus is the reason for the season...but is that only because the occasion calls for talk of Jesus. What about the reason of the year?

It's funny how people act once you say the name Jesus. I'm pretty sure there are many people who see that this blog is called 365 Days with Jesus and skip on over it. To me it seems like even mentioning Jesus anytime other than Christmas and Easter can be the equivalent of water getting on a black woman's hair. It's like Kryptonite! I'm serious, try mentioning Jesus around some people or let it start raining around some black women....in both cases they'll head for the hills. During college, my sister and I would meet guys that said they wanted to hang out or spend time with us so we would invite them to come to church with us....we would never hear from them again, isn't that sad?

Now I know I'm not that old but I'm not sure what slang the teenagers are using today (I'm still using words like weak and saying things like "that food was bang" but my younger brother informs me that they say things like wavy and sauce...neither involve surfing/hair or a condiment you can put on your chicken, lol) but I was wondering if Jesus was put on a list of bad words when I wasn't paying attention because it seems like no one wants to call on Him unless they don't know how they're going to pay their bills or the in-laws are coming to visit.

I don't get it? Why is Jesus such a touchy subject? Why don't people want to follow Him? Is it a control issue? I mean I can understand that we all want to have some say over our own lives I get that and trusting someone when we can't always see the outcome is hard. Faith has never really been an easy concept for everyone, I get that, but it seems we so easily can trust man. What's up with that?

Seriously, since President Obama has been in the White House some people act like he is their saving grace. Don't get me wrong I like Obama he has this certain swag about him that I just can't put my finger on but I'm not gonna rely on one man to fix all our country's problems and he certainly isn't my saving grace. So what is it about him that people can trust and rely on him more than they can God? Is because Obama has authority? Or maybe it's because he's in such a high position of power? If that's the case God is authority and He has the highest position of power there will ever be. Or maybe it's because Obama promised change that makes people want to trust him so much. And if that's the case have you not heard of God's promises? He will neither leave you nor forsake you....never! Obama isn't going to be president forever. His term will eventually end and then what? Personally, I wanna be down with the one who has already made a change in the world and will continue to do so, not someone who's change is only temporary.

I really wish I knew why we (we meaning myself as well because sometimes I even forget to put God first) have such a hard time trusting and accepting the only one who won't judge us and love us unconditionally no matter what. Instead, we constantly seek the approval of others to tell us we're worthwhile and love us when Jesus is ready to that with no questions asked. But not sometimes the closest we get to God is when we're holding a dollar bill....you know how on the back it says "In God We Trust" but truth be told we act like it's in money we trust. Now I know times are hard, believe me I know, but when did we start letting money rule instead of God?

On top of that we act like it isn't cool to mention Him because it makes some people uncomfortable, I mean in theory everyone is cool with Jesus (i.e.- the whole Jesus is my homeboy t-shirts and whatnot) but are we really good with the Lord? Yet, it's OK to let people curse up a storm and walk around in clothes that are five times too small but mentioning Jesus is supposed to be so taboo. I'm not trying to be funny but seeing someone's stomach hanging out of their shirt or their butt cheeks hanging out makes me uncomfortable and is way worse, I'm just saying.

All I know is we need to adjust our mindsets and stop worrying about what is in or cool. You wanna know what isn't cool? Hell, literally. Now I don't about you but I don't enjoy getting burnt anywhere on my body....and if you do I'm not here to judge you I'm just going to pray for you :) but I know personally that's just not something I like so Hell is not where I'm trying to end up. All God asks is that you confess and believe in Him. That's it! You don't have to wear a certain brand of clothing, you don't even have to have a dime to your name. He will accept you as is and the way this world is going and the way people act and change on a daily basis, wouldn't it be nice to have someone you can count on 24/7 in any situation?

Don't use the holiday season to remember who's in control. We have to stop treating Jesus like He's Vegas. You know whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. It's the same concept with Jesus, whatever happens in the church, stays in the church. God's message wasn't meant to be kept to ourselves but to be spread worldwide and I hope that's what I'm doing with this blog. Remember that Jesus is the reason for the season but He is also the reason you are breathing.

I hope you all are having a very merry Christmas! Be blessed everyone :)

Praise Report!

So when my sister and I decided to read our Everyday with Jesus Bible we decided that we were going to also write a monthly prayer list for things that we need encouragement with, help with etc.

I had planned on putting up the list so that we may have your prayers to go along with ours, but I am please to say that God has heard our prayers and my sister will be having a job soon! Praise God because we both have been stressed in the matter of gaining employment since we graduated from college and I am just so happy to see God working in her life. Also, I applied to the same place and spoke with someone over the phone about it and he sounded optimistic so I'm hoping that I will soon have a job there as well. Even if I don't I'm just so happy to be witness to God working in my sister's life because this past year hasn't been easy and I'm just glad to see that things are looking up :)

Please keep us in your prayers and be blessed everyone :)

Searching.....

For as long as I can remember I've been looking for somewhere to belong. Whether it be at school with my friends or even at home with my family, I have always found myself searching for some place to fit in. I don't understand it, there have been very few places that I've felt like I belong...is something wrong with me?

I remember once about 2 years ago I was out with some friends. I had been feeling myself growing apart from them for a while and I didn't know how to handle it because these were my friends. I couldn't understand why was I feeling this way about them especially when they did nothing wrong. Anyway, as the day progressed I felt myself becoming physically and mentally drained just being around them. It came to the point that we were in one store and I just sat down in the middle of the floor, exhausted. I just folded my arms and said "I don't want to be here anymore." They told me that we would be leaving the store soon but I meant that I was didn't want to be around them anymore. I know it sounds really harsh but that's just how I felt. The simple fact was that we had outgrown each other and that was that.

Truth is, I've probably have been looking in the wrong places to try and find where I belong and I feel that God has been trying to reach out to me and tell me that I would fit perfectly with Him, which is great because I've always wanted to feel wanted but is it wrong that I want to find other's on this Earth that I can fit in with as well? Is it wrong to want both when God is supposed to be the only One we need?

It almost feels like I'm in preschool all over again, hoping that someone will come play with me in the sandbox but the older I get I find it more and more difficult to find good people that you want to keep in your life.

I'm hoping that throughout this journey I can find not only what God has intended for me but also some solid people that I can share this journey who I can also share a part of my life with.

One thing that I do know, no matter how much I search I'll never find anyone better than God because I've:

"searched all over... couldn't find nobody
I looked high and low... still couldn't find nobody
Nobody greater... nobody greater no... nobody greater than you."

Be blessed everyone :)

We've Come This Far By Faith

OK so I'm not sure if you all know this or not but I'm starting my journey for reading my Everyday with Jesus Bible on January 1st. 1) Because that's when it starts in said Bible 2) What better way to start off the New Year than with Jesus 3) So I can prepare myself mentally for this very serious task.

Some may think 'why? it's just reading about God's love for us all, what is there to prepare for?" Well truth be told I'm a little nervous. As stated in 'The Prop' in the past I haven't been the most successful when it comes to reading my Bible and I'm nervous that this year could potentially be no different. I mean reading the Bible in a year sounds fantastic in theory but am I really up for this challenge? Also, due to past neglect of my Bible, I'm not sure if I feel worthy enough to truly experience the full extent of what God has for me....or maybe I mean that I won't be able to accept the fact that God still wants to be a part of my life and despite my previous feelings towards His word. Probably both.

This is why I'm taking the last few weeks of December to make sure that I'm ready and committed to this because there are plenty of times when I get lazy and just flat out don't want to do certain things because they just don't interest me and (I hate to say this) sometimes the Bible is one of those things that just doesn't interest me. Which brings me to my next point.....

I also worry that this whole thing will feel forced, like I'll feel that I have to do this because I have to, not because I want to. You remember how in 'The Prop' I had this mentality that "this is what good Christians do because..." without really providing an explanation of why this (i.e.- reading the Bible) makes you a 'good' Christian. My intention isn't to find a definitive answer or specific description of what it means to be a 'good' Christian, my goal is to discovery what makes me, personally, a good Christian.

I find that way too often Christian's get caught up in what they feel they're supposed to do because it has been conditioned in them since they were little (i.e.- myself, growing up as a preacher's daughter, we had a Joshua stance on Jesus "as for me and my house we will serve the Lord"- Joshua 24:15) or based off of what someone has told them without actually knowing for themselves why they were doing it. Don't get me wrong I love the fact that there are those who teach others about Jesus and His love, that's great! However, I'm the type of person who wants to know why I'm doing something before I do it. This is not to contradict any acts of stepping out on faith, it is to gain a better understanding so I can explain for myself to someone why I personally love Jesus and an answer like "because someone said so" just isn't enough for me and may not be enough for anyone who may want to get to know Jesus as well. Knowing that my answer could be the difference between someone coming to Christ and them going in the opposite direction isn't something that I take lightly so I want to be prepared in case such an occasion occurs.

Granted I am still super nervous about all this I hope to maintain a positive attitude because I know there will be days when I really won't feel like doing this and I will probably let you all know when those days are so you can hopefully send me prayers of encouragement :) I'm not exactly sure what I expect to discover during this next year either but that is what makes this so exciting! Still this is a huge leap of faith for me because I am impatient and like to be in control of certain things, but God has never ever steered me wrong before (even when I pitch a fit like a 3 year old because I can't understand why He wants me to go through some of the things I do) and I don't expect Him to now.

I am looking forward to starting this journey and hoping to improve my relationship with the Lord and hopefully inspire others to do the same. Your prayers and personal experience are more than welcome here.

Be blessed everyone :)

The Prop

Some people keep it on their living room table, others by their bedside. Some people may not even know where theirs is. However, something miraculous happens at least twice a week and it seems to make an appearance in the arms of its owners to make that oh so familiar journey to church on Sunday mornings or on Wednesday evenings for Bible study.

But for some all it seems to be is a prop. A symbol that represents the proper tool that every good Christian should have, the ultimate weapon as a soldier in the army of God. Yet no matter how powerful the weapon may be, it may not be of such good use if you are not able to use it properly. What good is it to have a sword if you aren't able to wield it correctly? In my opinion the Bible is the same way. How are you going to be able to have on the full armor of Christ if you're putting it on backwards?

Around this time last year my sister and I were in Lifeway Christian Bookstore. As we went to checkout the clerk asked if we wanted to add a Bible with our purchase. The Bible was originally $15 but was on sale for $5. I don't know about my sister but in my mindset was "of course I would love one! it's always good to have more than one Bible and good Christians need Bibles." So I purchased one. My sister did too.

I was initially excited about the purchase because it was something new I had and it was a Bible! We're all supposed to love the Bible! But truth be told I never even used it once. Not once!

I'm saying all this because I personally have been victim of using the Bible as a prop. During the week it sits in one dormant place only to be 'dusted off' once Sunday rolls around. Opening it long enough to follow along with the minister as he reads the scripture and once service is over my Bible gets put back in some spot until next Sunday. I sometimes find myself wondering how many other church goers use the Bible a prop. Breaking it out on Sunday mornings merely utilizing it as symbol to say 'hey! I'm a good Christian, I have my Bible' but during the week it collects dust until it's time to showcase it once more.

As I've said I am extremely guilty of this practice and I am going to attempt to change that in the upcoming year. My hope and prayer is that I can finally stop using the Bible as a prop. I feel guilty for treating the Bible like this, it's like I'm putting Jesus on a shelf to bring Him down (for lack of a better phrase) whenever 'the spirit moves me' to. The Bible that my sister and I purchased is called the "Everyday with Jesus Bible: A One-Year Reading Bible" Each day you read a few chapters and throughout the year you complete the Bible. From Genesis to Revelation.

I hope to utilize this blog as a way to keep track of my progress with my readings. Each day I would like to put the verses that are read and my reflections on what I have read. I want this to be my aid in getting a closer relationship with God and also to become a better person.

Be blessed everyone :)